Jordan Peterson – Do You Want To Have A Life? Or Be Exceptional At One Thing?

If you concentrate solely on your career you can get a long way in your career And I would say that that’s a strategy that a minority of men Preferentially do that that’s all they do they worked like 70 80 hours a week. They go flat out on their career They’re staking everything on the small probability of exceptional status in a narrow domain But it’s it’s hard on them. They don’t have a life. It’s very difficult for them to have a family They don’t know how to take any leisure activity like they get very one-dimensional now it may be that that Unidimensionality is the price you have to pay to be exceptional at one thing right because if you’re going to be something like a genius level mathematician and you want to do that for a Scientist say it’s like you’re in your lab You’re in your lab all the time you’re working 70 hours a week or 80 hours a week you’re smart You’re dedicated you’re unidimensional And that’s how you get to beat all the other people who are doing that it’s the only way but the problem is you don’t get a life now if you love being a scientist, and you have that kind of focus of mind well first of all you’re a rare person and second you’re gonna pay for it, but fine, more power to you, but But it’s a it’s a risky business to do that, you sacrifice a lot for it you know and I would say most Often if you’re speaking about having a healthy life that isn’t what you do you spread yourself out more So you know you have a family you have some things that you do outside of work that are meaningful to you and useful You you have a network of friends That that those three things alone are four things alone plenty to keep you well oriented And then if one of those things collapses you know Everything doesn’t go Now the price you pay for that is the more you strive to optimize that balance the less likely you are to be Fantastically successful at any single one of them, but you might have a very you know if you couldn’t consider your life as a whole That might be a winning strategy one of the things Carl Jung said I really like this He thought that men went after perfection and women went after wholeness so they’re different they’re different value, they’re different. There’s something different at the top of the value hierarchy so perfection would be Stake it all on one thing and look for radical success not that all men do that because they don’t but we’re talking about extremes At least with regards to the men that do that the wholeness idea is more like well. I want I want It’s like I want one thing in my life to be a hundred and fifty percent Or I want five things in my life to be 80 percent Well There there’s a lot more richness in a life where you have five things operating at eighty percent But you’re not operating in any of that any of them at a hundred and fifty percent so and I really believe this because I’ve watched men and women go through their careers now for a long period of time and one of the things that There’s lots of things that produce this But one of the things that I’ve noticed is that mostly women in their 30s bail out of uni dimensional careers They won’t do them. They won’t they won’t put in the 80 hours a week that they would have to put in in order to dominate that particular area and it isn’t the reason that they won’t do it is because they decide it’s not worth it and no wonder because Why would that be worth it you have to ask yourself that it’s like well you want to be an outstanding scientist It’s like okay really really. That’s what you want because that means that’s what you do Because you’re competing with other people you know they’re smart They’re hard-working And if you want to be at the top you have to be smarter and work harder than any of them and working hard means Working long hours. I mean it also means working diligently, but in in the final analysis It’s also an additive issue if I’m smart and hardworking and I can crank out for 70 hours a week And you do it for thirty it’s like in two years. I’m so far ahead of you you will never ever catch up so Anyways, and I think partly maybe part of the reason to that women are oriented that way more than men I think there’s two reasons this one is Socioeconomic status does not make women more attractive on the mating market But it does make men more attractive and the second is women’s time frame is compressed Right because guys can always say well. I’ll have kids later, and they can say that till they’re like 80 Whereas women it’s like no way man. You got to get it You got to get it together by the time your let’s say 40, but really probably by 35 But definitely by 40 because otherwise it ain’t happening and that’s bloody dreadful like the most unhappy people you ever see No No One of the common routes to extreme unhappiness is to want children and not have them I wouldn’t recommend that You know you see couples who were in their 30s one couple in three over the age of 30 has fertility problems. That’s defined as Inability to conceive after one year of trying one in three So it’s worth thinking about because people are very very unhappy if they want to have kids, and then they can’t man You’re in the medical mill for ten years if that’s if that’s what happens to you

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100 thoughts on “Jordan Peterson – Do You Want To Have A Life? Or Be Exceptional At One Thing?

  1. In my experience and observation, being successfully employed usually means a failure at most everything else. They aren't #1 at their pathetic little JAWB either.

  2. I don't favor any of the philosophies, but I think that people who opt for being exceptional at a single field, are people worth supporting to. I guess that people who choose to excel at one thing wouldn't do it for something as vague as money, because you are literally trading your life in exchange; in some cases recognition, but what I think is what motivates the most is to create or realize something that no other person has done before. Otherwise, we wouldn't have beautiful pieces of art, sports records, Fields and Nobel medallists, etc. People who chose to push their limits physically or mentally to create or do something that doesn't worth money, that goes beyond our comprehension, something that will last forever and I don't think people want to transcend because they are afraid of death, just because of the human curiosity and pushing boundaries. So the point here is that no one should ever discourage nobody to bet it all for perfection in a single task, because who knows, maybe a young prodigy watched this video and now he/she isn't convinced to risk a comfortable life for something that could prove all of us to be better 🙂

  3. And then there's a third way, to have so much possibilities, that you overwhelmed by it, do nothing instead and neither be successful or really happy

  4. What a difference between these videos where Peterson is relaxed, in class, and those where he is interviewed by a journalist trying to corner him. These videos are lessons, those videos are a waste of time.

  5. So what´s the point of all you´re saying, professor…?

    – Oh, nothing….is philosophy course…..I´m just blabbing. 🤓

  6. In my experience most women I've met are looking for the perfect life, and most men don't know what the heck to do.

  7. It makes me think a lot, It's annoying to analyse the price you should pay in order to achieve some stuff.

  8. About being ahead, you can catch up or pass them by if you have a different (more efficient) aproach to find solution to the problem. But i get the point 👍

  9. How does this tie in with the hierarchy pyramid idea- that you should try to get to the top of your pyramid of values. Would that be like achieving the 80%?

  10. Soo it's the matter of choice then. Nothing worng with both of them. But for me, I personally want to have a life rather than be an 'outstanding' programmer (yes I'm a programmer)

  11. Apparently it makes sense but the reality is not so. He said men can postpone this idea of ​​children until their 80. Now, think with me … which fertile young woman would want to have children with an 80-year-old? Not to mention that his fertility is no longer the same and neither is the "instrument". If it is still working. I know you must have thought that if the guy is rich, some scammer will want it, right? Even so, it does not fit all; because not everyone is rich. It is not a realistic example. So in the end it's all the same! The man should think of raising a family and children at most up to 35/40 as well.

  12. I'm definitely in agreement with the former life. I'd kill myself if I were forced to have children and a family.

  13. “Jack of all trades master of none”
    This quote was derived from an older quote
    “Jack of all trades master of 1”

  14. Bullshit. Women and men can be uni-dimensional…in the past, culture simply got in the way. Women had to take care of the kids, make the food, and clean the house, so we didn’t have the luxury of choosing. This is 2019. Educate yourself

  15. Damn bro! I have a friend who wants kids so bad but his wife ain’t down. He is the saddest guy I know. The most successful but it all means nothing to him.

  16. This is my dad and I in a nutshell. He is the unidimensional expectional and I've always hedged my bet against competing in one thing lest it collapses. I feel unexpectional but really really happy but I often wonder what could have been.

  17. Hmm I wonder if the difference he's talking about in choices that men and women make have something to do with the higher number of men then women in high-level corporate executive positions.

  18. I can relate so much to this so much. I’m a scientist and a year ago I used to spend long hours in the lab and hardly gave myself time to recuperate during weekends and never took holidays all so i could make progress in my career. I reached a point where it all became too much and I sunk into depression and anxiety. I managed to pull myself out of that hole and realized there’s more to life than just my career. Now I manage my time better and take time out to do activities that make me feel whole like painting or boxing or reading. Always put your mental health first

  19. I sacrificed a lot to be exceptional and do amazing work, now looking back through remiss. I recommend to bailout and spend time with you loved ones.

  20. Having children would make me unhappy, don't see the reward to creating something that will cost me more money, more time, more worry, more stress, while simultaneously contributing to the world's overpopulation problem as well as forcing my child to inherit a rapidly declining world on all fronts.

  21. This is the struggle I face everyday. I'm a software engineer. I know I could be the best software engineer in the world. I have the talent, but I would have to sacrifice time with my wife, children, and hobbies to do it… It is frustrating to see others who do make that sacrifice get ahead, but this helps me to at least help me realize what I'm gaining instead of the success and praise.

  22. I don't understand Peterson. Sometimes he sounds intelligent, then he spreads average self-help wisdom (which can be helpful nonetheless) and sometimes with the right audiences he's promoting weird world views. I never know what is his actual opinion and what is just pr to cater to this particular segment of his followership.

  23. I have never seen this much of obsolete and unscientific generalization in an argument before, and people unquestioningly following such thoughts and ideas.

  24. That's exactly my skepticism when I hear people talk about going STEM, or saying women deserve more to be in STEM. I would love more women in stem, you think it's fun being all dudes with no dating prospect ? But you gotta earn it! We been studying hard since age 5, to have a good math background. Then in uni, we are not partyingz were not even sleeping much. Library and lab every day often till 2am.
    Stem doesn't lie. You either can solve answers or you can't. So put up or shutup

  25. How do you even find what you love? I've tried so many damn things… Im 27 now, feel like I'm getting on but still young ofcourse, been to uni 4 times, had so many different jobs, can't find anything I like, and I'm not going to fucking settle for a 9-5 office job. Any ideas?

  26. What if the thing I do outside of work is work-related (studying other technologies for instance)? That's meaningful to me. I don't think that's bad, but I do agree it's keeping me from socializing and experiencing the world outside. I'm sure it'll be worth it though.

  27. I think the part I learned the most from was in the end. One in three couples in their 30s are very unhappy with fertility issues.

  28. This is quite literally why I started my channel haha. Chefs are also frickin crazy and unidimensional, to the detriment of the rest of their lives.

  29. I wonder if this is why so many popstars are miserable. Inspite of their fame, wealth and status, they have nothing outside of their job.

  30. I’ve been one dimensional towards my career for the last 5 years… I’m almost 26 and I’m realising I have no life and my life is empty and I’m in the midst of changing this but idk how 😭

  31. I listen to a bit number of Jordan Peterson , and this here resonate with me so much. I'm currently at that path in life where I have to chose between putting 100% into my career and ahead and be somebody while sacrificing having a life meaning more time for work and less time for social life OR spreading out my time between social life and career and not improve as much as I can as Peterson said in this video. I used to be introverted and was fine with no having a social life but I knew a part of me always FEAR that when I'm in my old age I realized that my social life barely exist, and I don't even have kids yet even though I build a great career for myself. I would love to have a successful career and have a social life, I don't need to have thousands of friends or always invited to parties but it's be nice to have an adequate number of those things too.

  32. The reason why you put away everything for one thing is because life has no sense and meaning without that one thing. Life isn't about happiness but about contribution and when you find one thing you that ur happy living for and that something bring a great contribution to you and others then you should even be ready to die for. As someone said "if you are not ready to die for your your dreams then you are not ready to live for"

  33. this is horseshit, you can be exceptional at one thing and have a life. I dont see existence through the eyes, filters and contitioning of this man I dont have to.

  34. I think you pay a price for any thing you choose wether good or bad. You choose the life you want then pay for it

  35. It’s never too late to change. I used to think it was cool to be one dimensional, but one day I just got sick of talking about the same thing, day in/ day out. I had a melt down in the middle of west 4th Street, over dosed in the music industry 😱

  36. "Get a life" Does it mean to have a funnier life? A better life in many aspect is something many want to have or would like to have but sometimes that, is not possible. Maybe people who lives in developed countries has a life but the others don't. They only can survive their lives day by day.

  37. Ask a 35 years old single woman what she wants:

    Familiy or career?

    The answer should be clear.

    And yet feminists put their toxic ideology into the brains of young girls.

  38. What I realize after watching this for people like Jordan was talking about you’re damned if you do and damned if you dont

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