How to speak so that people want to listen | Julian Treasure


The human voice: It’s the instrument we all play. It’s the most powerful sound
in the world, probably. It’s the only one that can start a war
or say “I love you.” And yet many people have the experience that when they speak, people
don’t listen to them. And why is that? How can we speak powerfully
to make change in the world? What I’d like to suggest, there are a number of habits
that we need to move away from. I’ve assembled for your pleasure here
seven deadly sins of speaking. I’m not pretending
this is an exhaustive list, but these seven, I think, are pretty large
habits that we can all fall into. First, gossip. Speaking ill of somebody
who’s not present. Not a nice habit,
and we know perfectly well the person gossiping, five minutes later,
will be gossiping about us. Second, judging. We know people who are like this
in conversation, and it’s very hard to listen to somebody if you know that you’re being judged
and found wanting at the same time. Third, negativity. You can fall into this. My mother, in the last years of her life,
became very negative, and it’s hard to listen. I remember one day, I said to her,
“It’s October 1 today,” and she said, “I know, isn’t it dreadful?” (Laughter) It’s hard to listen
when somebody’s that negative. (Laughter) And another form
of negativity, complaining. Well, this is the national art of the U.K. It’s our national sport. We complain about the weather, sport,
about politics, about everything, but actually, complaining is viral misery. It’s not spreading sunshine
and lightness in the world. Excuses. We’ve all met this guy. Maybe we’ve all been this guy. Some people have a blamethrower. They just pass it on to everybody else and don’t take responsibility
for their actions, and again, hard to listen
to somebody who is being like that. Penultimate, the sixth of the seven, embroidery, exaggeration. It demeans our language,
actually, sometimes. For example, if I see something
that really is awesome, what do I call it? (Laughter) And then, of course,
this exaggeration becomes lying, and we don’t want to listen
to people we know are lying to us. And finally, dogmatism. The confusion of facts with opinions. When those two things get conflated, you’re listening into the wind. You know, somebody is bombarding you
with their opinions as if they were true. It’s difficult to listen to that. So here they are, seven deadly
sins of speaking. These are things I think we need to avoid. But is there a positive
way to think about this? Yes, there is. I’d like to suggest that there are four
really powerful cornerstones, foundations, that we can stand on if we want our speech to be powerful and to make
change in the world. Fortunately, these things spell a word. The word is “hail,” and it has
a great definition as well. I’m not talking about the stuff
that falls from the sky and hits you on the head. I’m talking about this definition, to greet or acclaim enthusiastically, which is how I think
our words will be received if we stand on these four things. So what do they stand for? See if you can guess. The H, honesty, of course, being true in what you say,
being straight and clear. The A is authenticity,
just being yourself. A friend of mine described it as
standing in your own truth, which I think is a lovely way to put it. The I is integrity, being your word, actually doing what you say, and being somebody people can trust. And the L is love. I don’t mean romantic love, but I do mean wishing people
well, for two reasons. First of all, I think absolute honesty
may not be what we want. I mean, my goodness,
you look ugly this morning. Perhaps that’s not necessary. Tempered with love, of course,
honesty is a great thing. But also, if you’re really
wishing somebody well, it’s very hard to judge
them at the same time. I’m not even sure you can do
those two things simultaneously. So hail. Also, now that’s what you say, and it’s like the old song,
it is what you say, it’s also the way that you say it. You have an amazing toolbox. This instrument is incredible, and yet this is a toolbox
that very few people have ever opened. I’d like to have a little rummage
in there with you now and just pull a few tools out that you might like to take
away and play with, which will increase
the power of your speaking. Register, for example. Now, falsetto register may not
be very useful most of the time, but there’s a register in between. I’m not going to get very
technical about this for any of you who are voice coaches. You can locate your voice, however. So if I talk up here in my nose,
you can hear the difference. If I go down here in my throat, which is where most of us
speak from most of the time. But if you want weight, you need to go down here to the chest. You hear the difference? We vote for politicians
with lower voices, it’s true, because we associate depth with power and with authority. That’s register. Then we have timbre. It’s the way your voice feels. Again, the research shows that we prefer voices
which are rich, smooth, warm, like hot chocolate. Well if that’s not you,
that’s not the end of the world, because you can train. Go and get a voice coach. And there are amazing things you can do with breathing, with posture,
and with exercises to improve the timbre of your voice. Then prosody. I love prosody. This is the sing-song, the meta-language that we use in order to impart meaning. It’s root one for meaning in conversation. People who speak all on one note
are really quite hard to listen to if they don’t have any prosody at all. That’s where the word
“monotonic” comes from, or monotonous, monotone. Also, we have repetitive
prosody now coming in, where every sentence ends
as if it were a question when it’s actually not
a question, it’s a statement? (Laughter) And if you repeat that one, it’s actually restricting your ability
to communicate through prosody, which I think is a shame, so let’s try and break that habit. Pace. I can get very excited by saying
something really quickly, or I can slow right down to emphasize, and at the end of that, of course,
is our old friend silence. There’s nothing wrong with a bit
of silence in a talk, is there? We don’t have to fill it with ums and ahs. It can be very powerful. Of course, pitch often
goes along with pace to indicate arousal, but you
can do it just with pitch. Where did you leave my keys? (Higher pitch) Where did you
leave my keys? So, slightly different meaning
in those two deliveries. And finally, volume. (Loud) I can get really excited
by using volume. Sorry about that, if I startled anybody. Or, I can have you really pay attention
by getting very quiet. Some people broadcast the whole time. Try not to do that. That’s called sodcasting, (Laughter) Imposing your sound on people around you
carelessly and inconsiderately. Not nice. Of course, where this all comes
into play most of all is when you’ve got something
really important to do. It might be standing on a stage like this
and giving a talk to people. It might be proposing marriage, asking for a raise, a wedding speech. Whatever it is, if it’s really important, you owe it to yourself
to look at this toolbox and the engine that it’s going to work on, and no engine works well
without being warmed up. Warm up your voice. Actually, let me show you how to do that. Would you all like to stand
up for a moment? I’m going to show you the six vocal warm-up exercises
that I do before every talk I ever do. Any time you’re going to talk
to anybody important, do these. First, arms up, deep breath in, and sigh out, ahhhhh, like that. One more time. Ahhhh, very good. Now we’re going to warm up our lips, and we’re going to go Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba. Very good. And now, brrrrrrrrrr, just like when you were a kid. Brrrr. Now your lips
should be coming alive. We’re going to do the tongue next with exaggerated la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la, la. Beautiful. You’re getting
really good at this. And then, roll an R. Rrrrrrr. That’s like champagne for the tongue. Finally, and if I can only do one, the pros call this the siren. It’s really good. It starts
with “we” and goes to “aw.” The “we” is high, the “aw” is low. So you go, weeeaawww, weeeaawww. Fantastic. Give yourselves
a round of applause. Take a seat, thank you. (Applause) Next time you speak, do those in advance. Now let me just put this
in context to close. This is a serious point here. This is where we are now, right? We speak not very well to people who simply aren’t listening in an environment that’s all
about noise and bad acoustics. I have talked about that on this stage
in different phases. What would the world be like if we were speaking powerfully to people who were listening consciously in environments which were
actually fit for purpose? Or to make that a bit larger, what would the world be like if we were creating sound consciously and consuming sound consciously and designing all our environments consciously for sound? That would be a world
that does sound beautiful, and one where understanding
would be the norm, and that is an idea worth spreading. Thank you. (Applause)

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45 thoughts on “How to speak so that people want to listen | Julian Treasure

  1. How about those individuals who cannot communicate except by gesture and initial sounds – can you form or join a cluster of clever, digitally smart individuals putting their brains and skills together to really understand and help those who cannot communicate?

  2. inkedin.com/in/ralphmontague/?trk=eml-msg_digest-body-view_profile&midToken=AQH_-sWBf3LuUA&trkEmail=eml-email_type_messaging_digest-null-4-null-null-tb2mk~k1qlrh6b~nd-null-neptune%2Fprofile~vanity%2Eview

  3. 8:04 Those sequence of speech exercises I do at morning if i get call from my father in order to trick him I was not woke up just before his call.

  4. I’ve noticed that no one listens to me at home or at school and it’s been really bugging me and making me feel down today in particular. The thing is I don’t think I significantly have any of those bad speaking habits and my friends at school are the ones who’s main speaking topics are gossip, complaining, and negativity. I can’t relate to the conversations and don’t want to so I find myself having nothing to say that matches what they’d be interested in, and in result people blatantly ignore me.

  5. 📲*00212645752301* *Whatapps*📲
    ولاحـظــت💁‍♂️ كـثـيـر مــن الــكــومــنــتــات عــن تــكــبــيــر الــقــضــيــب وضــعــف الانـتـصـاب وسـرعـة الـقـذف
    وأبـغـى أبـشـركـم😉 أنــي حـصـلـت عـلـى مــعــلــومــات كــثــيــر مـفـيـدة✅ هــتــنــفــعــكــم كـثـيـر ومــجــربــهــا كـمـان ونــفــعــتــنــي🤩🥳
    تــواصــل مــعــي🙋‍♂️ وأنـا بــشــرح لـك سـر الــوصــفــة الـواتـس اب *00212645752301*📲

  6. "How to speak so people want to listen".Speak the sweet little lies that they want to hear .On average, If people don't want to hear some information that is contrary to their agendas ( beliefs, deeply held opinions etc) then they won't hear it ( think about it).

    E.g.Many people will not hear and then think about information regarding the evidence on evolution or climate change or human caused mass extinction or pollution. They will only hear what they want to hear and that leads to social " echo chambers" with groups of people whom don't challenge/ question their beliefs.Whatever you say & however you say it they will only hear ( think) what they want to hear and or what they are capable of comprehending ( e.g. A one month old baby can not hear your ideas on quantum mechanics only the sounds). Those that are open to thinking differently, already are open to thinking differently & listenning to new information about any particular subject. Science is continually building it's knowledge and that's why , in general, scientists are more open to new evidenced based idea's/words.Even when that evidence contradicts their general understanding of any particular topic.
    E.g. The average psychology ( stone age) would not understand why many scientists would be thrilled if they were proved wrong about some subjects due to the general evidence base. E.g. Convincing proof that a after life exists. However, there is convincing proof that a " after life" is a contradiction in terms.As death is being not alive and what people perceive as "l" is them being alive and conscious of their life.

  7. Me to my crush: hey I wanna talk to you about something
    Starts excersing my voice in front of her
    Her: leaves in silence
    Me:*still excersing* wEeEEeOOoO

  8. in a world of noisy static troublesome cacophony of sounds. we automatically label it as background noise. feed your ears with beautiful music and out comes sunshine.

  9. I cannot stop looking at his shinny, bold, egg-like head, small eyes and his small-time-swindler appearance… and I wonder – who listens to what THIS man has to say?!?

  10. Мен секилди субтитр арқылы қараған, көрген адам барма? Қазақша тусинсен лайк.

  11. This is interesting. I was always the one who people don't listen quite carefully, but not in a negative way, just… "you are not interesting enough at this very moment". I mean, even the closest family and friends who really love me and who I really love.

    Now, I don't gossip, judge or lie, but when I saw this list of "important" things, I do tend to display light cases of negativity, complaining, and dogmatising.
    I tend to start the conversation with the "jerk who cut me off in the traffic", or "did you hear about that murder case yesterday".

    Also, I don't think about the register, pitch or volume, although people often don't understand me, even though I'm not mumbling and I try to speak "clear".

    This video is quite helpful, it addresses the things I wasn't paying attention to.

    One "sin" is missing in the list (which I tend to practice sometimes as well) – repeating yourself, over and over. You make the listener bored, and you show him/her, since you forgot yoy've already said something, that you don't really care about your conversations.

  12. Excellent talk!  I attended an event recently where the key speaker was completely monotone  w/ the same low volume. OMG – Talk about incredibly boring. I thought I was at a funeral.

  13. In my opinion, these 5 habits are very effective but very difficult.
    1: Respect others without benefits
    2: Honesty
    3: Authenticity
    4: Integrity
    5: Love

  14. I disagree. Complaining has a value , as does gossip..which can be hugely funny and inclusive , even for the person who is being gossiped about !
    I'm not sure I want to be talked to by a self-appointed saint imposing his own standards of communication on me. Its end result might be that we self impose restraints on our freedom to talk ..as if there aren't enough doing that already.

  15. The truth is that 99% of the people who is watching didnt remember these tricks in few days… we just saw for entertainment..

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